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| Henry Youngman Quotes |
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(1906 - 1998) - English born, American comedian, actor. The King of the 1-liner.
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I was so ugly when I was born, the doctor slapped my mother.
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
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I wanted to be an atheist, but I gave it up. They have no holidays.
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
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The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
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When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays.
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My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
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I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
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I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
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