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| Henry Youngman Quotes |
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(1906 - 1998) - English born, American comedian, actor. The King of the 1-liner.
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I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
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All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
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I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in.
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A wonderful Doctor gave this guy 6 months to live. When he couldn't pay his bills, he gave him another 6 months.
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(Goodfellas, 1990)
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So I said, 'Where do you want to go for your anniversary?'
She said: 'I want to go somewhere I've never been before.'
I said, 'Try the kitchen.'
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(Goodfellas, 1990)
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Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
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While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
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My kid is a born doctor. Nobody can read anything he writes.
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I had a nightmare last night. I dreamed Dolly Parton was my mother and I was a bottle-baby.
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Those bellhops in Miami are tip-happy. I ordered a deck of playing cards and the bellboy made fifty-two trips to my room.
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