The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse
-- Dennis Miller (quoted in Underground Humor, 1997, ed: Edward Bergin)

My father taught me to work; he did not teach me to love it.
-- Abraham Lincoln

The reason why worry kills more people than work is that more people worry than work.
-- Robert Frost

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
-- Edgar Bergen

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any more.
-- Jeff Foxworthy

By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day.
-- Robert Frost

I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.
-- Charles Lamb

The first sign of a nervous breakdown is when you start thinking your work is terribly important.
-- Milo Bloom

All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work.
-- Steve Martin

If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done...
-- Anonymous