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| Wife Quotes |
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One time I went to a hotel. I asked the bellhop to handle my bag. He felt up my wife!
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Rodney Dangerfield |
My wife had a go at me last night. She said, "You'll drive me to my grave." I had the car out in thirty seconds.
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Tommy Cooper |
"My wife said to me, "I want to be cremated." I said, "How about Tuesday?"
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Buddy Hackett |
My wife was afraid of the dark...then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light.
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Rodney Dangerfield |
There's only one thing wrong with wife swapping. You get another wife.
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Scott Roeben |
The wife's in a bad mood. She asked me to pay for her new cosmetic surgery. I told her it was too expensive and she should iron out the wrinkles herself...
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Robert Paul |
I don't care if she doesn't know how to cook - so long as she doesn't know a good lawyer.
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Errol Flynn (on the ideal Wife) |
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
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Jimmy Durante |
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
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Henry Youngman |
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