[on 'celibacy' whilst in LA]
The sex is nothing to write home about. It’s a shame because my mum loves those letters.

I am the only man who can say he's been in Take That and at least two members of the Spice Girls.

When I first met him [David Beckham] I didn't know whether to shake his hand or lick his face.

Inside me there is a fat man dying to get out.