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Tim Vine Quotes |
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(b. ?) - British comedian, tv host, Visit Tims website
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I was reading a book...'the history of glue' - I couldn't put it down.
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"So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said 'You've been promoted.' And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said "You've been promoted again.' And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.' And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said 'What happened to you?' And I said 'I careered off the road.'
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Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chan-Chu. But I think it's Colin.
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So I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died.'"
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