A Minneapolis company has come out with a credit card size shotgun that fits in your wallet. The inventor says he invented it to give people a sense of security. Oh yeah, what makes you feel more secure than sitting on shotgun? Now how does this work? What's the first thing a thief steals? Your wallet, oh, now he's got your gun too!
-- Jay Leno

I was sued by a woman who claimed that she became pregnant because she watched me on television and I bent her contraceptive coil.
-- Uri Geller

In view of the fact that God limited the intelligence of man, it seems unfair that he did not also limit his stupidity.
-- Konrad Adenauer

The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order.

-- Brian Pickrell

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
-- Frank Zappa

A stupid man's report of what a clever man says is never accurate because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand.
-- Bertrand Russell

Most fools think they are only ignorant.
-- Benjamin Franklin

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits
-- Albert Einstein

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
-- Albert Einstein