Wealth is any income that is at least one hundred dollars a year more than the income of one's wife's sister's husband.
-- H. L. Mencken

Big sisters are the crabgrass in the lawn of life.
-- Charles Schulz

My sister's asthmatic. In the middle of an asthma attack she got an obscene phone call. The guy said, "Did I call you or did you call me?"
-- John Mendoza

A myth is a moth's sister.
-- Stan Laurel

I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did. Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child.
-- Woody Allen

I am an only child. I have one sister.
-- Woody Allen