Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life.
-- Dorothy Parker

Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
-- Steve Martin

Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
-- Charles Pierce

Conversation like television set on honeymoon...unnecessary.
-- Peter Sellers (as Mr Wang in Murder by Death, 1976)

A girl's legs are her best friends, but the best of friends must part.
-- Redd Foxx (from Comedy Album - Huffin and Puffin)

I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
-- Phyllis Diller

Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.
-- Woody Allen (Hollywood Ending, 2002)

The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue of Liberty.
-- Woody Allen (Crimes and Misdemeanors, 1989)

I think people should be free to engage in any sexual practices they choose; they should draw the line at goats though.
-- Elton John

Sex is more fun than cars but cars refuel quicker than men.
-- Germaine Greer