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Scott Roeben Quotes |
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(b. 1962) - American Humorist. Visit his Site
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I once dated a girl on the track team. It didn't work out. She kept giving me the runaround.
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I have no luck with women. I once went on a date and asked the woman if she'd brought any protection. She pulled a switchblade on me.
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There's only one thing wrong with wife swapping. You get another wife.
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I was on a game show. When I lost, they gave me a lovely parting gift. It was a comb.
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I only date stewardesses. Or maybe it just seems that way. Women always seem to be showing me the exits.
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As a lover, I'm about as impressive as a magician on the radio.
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They say God has existed from the beginning of time and will exist beyond the end of time. Can you imagine trying to sit through his home movies?
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Those prizes in Cracker Jacks are a joke. I once got a magnifying glass. It was so poorly made, ants were laughing at it.
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Sex is like art. Most of it is pretty bad, and the good stuff is out of your price range.
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I had a rough childhood. When I was born, the doctor advised me of my rights.
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