[On Clint Eastwood running for Mayor] What makes him think a middle-aged actor, who's played with a chimp, could have a future in politics?

Government is like a baby. An alimentary canal with a big appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.

Recession is when your neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours. And recovery is when Jimmy Carter loses his.
-- (During 1980 presidential campaign)

Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidise it.

Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed there are many rewards, if you disgrace yourself you can always write a book.

Facts are stupid things.

A Hippie is someone who walks like Tarzan, looks like Jane and smells like Cheetah.
-- (Second book of Insults, 1981, ed. Nancy McPhee)

You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by the way he eats jelly beans.

Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.