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| Rita Rudner Quotes |
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(b. 1956) - American comedian, actress.
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I don't plan to grow old gracefully I plan to have face lifts till my ears meet.
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Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
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Men who tell you they read the Ann Summers catalogue for the articles are lying.
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Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
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I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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If you never want to see a man again, say, 'I love you, I want to marry you. I want to have children...' - they leave skid marks.
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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior'.
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In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.
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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
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The closest I ever came to a menage-a-trois was when I dated a schizophrenic.
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