I don't plan to grow old gracefully I plan to have face lifts till my ears meet.

Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.

Men who tell you they read the Ann Summers catalogue for the articles are lying.

Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.

If you never want to see a man again, say, 'I love you, I want to marry you. I want to have children...' - they leave skid marks.

To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior'.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.

The closest I ever came to a menage-a-trois was when I dated a schizophrenic.