The perfect lover is one who turns into a pizza at 4:00 A.M
-- Charles Pierce

I used to go missing a lot...Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World.
-- George Best

The only difference between friends and lovers is about four minutes.
-- Scott Roeben

I didn't have time. I was too busy breaking up Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman's marriage.
-- George Clooney (on rumours he was responsible for Julia Roberts and Benjamin Bratt's break-up)

To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent. She can't wait to disprove it.
-- Cary Grant