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Joan Rivers Quotes Pages: 1   2
(b. 1933) - American comedian, actress.

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Email to a friend   The average airplane is 16 years old, and so is the average airplane meal.
Email to a friend   A new viagra virus is going round the Internet. It doesn't affect your hard drive, but you can't minimize anything for hours.
Email to a friend   My body is falling so fast my gyaenacologist wears a hard hat.
Email to a friend   I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it.
Email to a friend   Talk about getting old. I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.
Email to a friend   Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.
Email to a friend   I have no boobs whatsoever. On my wedding night my husband said, 'Let me help you with those buttons' and I told him, 'I'm completely naked'.
Email to a friend   The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.
Email to a friend   I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
Email to a friend   She saw a sign saying 'Wet Floor.' So she did!
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