The average airplane is 16 years old, and so is the average airplane meal.

A new viagra virus is going round the Internet. It doesn't affect your hard drive, but you can't minimize anything for hours.

My body is falling so fast my gyaenacologist wears a hard hat.

I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it.

Talk about getting old. I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.

Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.

I have no boobs whatsoever. On my wedding night my husband said, 'Let me help you with those buttons' and I told him, 'I'm completely naked'.

The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.

I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

She saw a sign saying 'Wet Floor.' So she did!