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| One Liners Quotes |
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 Incontinence Hotline...can you hold please!
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Anonymous |
When mom found my diaphram, I told her it was a bathing cap for my cat.
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Liz Winston |
People who say, 'Anything is possible' have never tried to complain to a recorded announcement.
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Sam Ewing (quoted in National Enquirer) |
I'm living on a one-way dead end street. I don't know how I got there.
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Steven Wright |
(French Translation) - Apéritif: a set of dentures.
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Spike Milligan |
A cannibal is a guy who goes into a restaurant and orders the waiter.
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Jack Benny |
I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women.
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Bernard Manning |
So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?
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Billy Connolly |
When I was born my father spent three weeks trying to find a loophole in my birth certificate.
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Jackie Vernon |
When I finished school I took one of those career aptitude tests and, based on my verbal ability score, they suggested I become a mime.
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Tim Cavanagh |
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