New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back positive.
-- Jay Leno

I'm a little bit older, a little bit wiser, a little bit rounder, but still none the wiser.
-- Robert Paul

A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other.
-- Unknown

It is better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money.
-- P. J. ORourke

The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year's Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you're married to.
-- P. J. ORourke

Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.
-- Bill Vaughan

An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.
-- Bill Vaughan