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| Paul Merton Quotes |
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(b. 1957) - English tv comedian. Famous for 'Have I got News for You' and 'Room 101'.
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[on the epidemic of tv celebrity shows]
They're doing a new show: Celebrity Corpse, where you dig up someone after five years and try to guess who they were.
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For me deadpan is a very useful technique. You can say something funny but if you look as if you don't know it's funny yourself, you get an extra laugh.
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If you stay in a house and you go to the bathroom and there is no toilet paper, you can always slide down the banisters. Don't tell me you haven't done it.
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On my first day in New York a guy asked me if I knew where Central Park was. When I told him I didn't he said, 'Do you mind if I mug you here?'
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My school days were the happiest days of my life, which should give you some indication of the misery I've endured over the past twenty-five years.
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