This guy says, 'I'm perfect for you, because I'm a cross between a macho and a sensitive man.'
I said, 'Oh, a gay trucker?'
-- Judy Tenuta

If you never want to see a man again, say, 'I love you, I want to marry you. I want to have children...' - they leave skid marks.
-- Rita Rudner

To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior'.
-- Rita Rudner

I never hated a man enough to give him his diamonds back.
-- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison.
-- Tim Allen

I love the lines the men use to get us into bed. 'Please, I'll only put it in for a minute.' What am I, a microwave?
-- Beverly Mickens

Men can read maps better than women. Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equalling a hundred miles.
-- Roseanne Barr

When I eventually met Mr Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
-- Rita Rudner

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
-- Tim Allen

Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later, for another thing, they die earlier.
-- H. L. Mencken