Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife.
-- Shelley Winters

When an actor marries an actress they both fight for the mirror.
-- Burt Reynolds

Marriage works best for men than women. The two happiest groups are married men and unmarried women.
-- Gloria Steinem

Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?
-- Carrie Snow

The Three Ages of Marriage: Twenty is when you watch the TV after. Forty is when you watch the TV during. Sixty is when you watch the TV instead.
-- Unknown

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.
-- Mickey Rooney

Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.
-- Woody Allen (Hollywood Ending, 2002)

In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues.
-- Helen Rowland

My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.
-- Roseanne Barr

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
-- Rita Rudner