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| Bernard Manning Quotes |
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(b. 1930) - English comedian.
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A secretary ran into the bosses office and said "Can I use your dictaphone?" He says, "no, use your finger like everybody else"
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Ken dodd of all the comedians - tight. We went to a stripshow and he wanted half of his money back because one of the strippers only had one t*t.
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We used to sleep five to a bed and three of them used to wet the bed. I learnt to swim before I could walk.
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I once got sacked for laughing ... mind you, I was driving a hearse at the time.
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50 years ago forty white men chasing a black man was the Ku Klux Klan...Nowadays it's the US Open!
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I love to visit Liverpool...to see my hubcaps.
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I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women.
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I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas
with a note on it saying, toys not included.
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