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| Jay Leno Quotes |
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(b. 1950) - American talk-show host.
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In Australia a doctor has discovered a female patient whose sleepwalking causes her to go out and have sex with total strangers while she’s asleep. ... They could have diagnosed this years ago, but no guys ever complained.
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A Minneapolis company has come out with a credit card size shotgun that fits in your wallet. The inventor says he invented it to give people a sense of security. Oh yeah, what makes you feel more secure than sitting on shotgun? Now how does this work? What's the first thing a thief steals? Your wallet, oh, now he's got your gun too!
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Congratulations to Billy Joel, married over the weekend. His wife is 23 years old. I heard he had his wife screaming on the wedding night. It’s not what you think, she was a passenger in the car when he was driving.
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According to the L.A. Times, Attorney General John Ashcroft wants to take "a harder stance" on the death penalty. What's a harder stance on the death penalty? We're already killing the guy? How do you take a harder stance on the death penalty? What, are you going to tickle him first? Give him itching powder? Put a thumbtack on the electric chair.
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What do you think of this? According to a sports illustrated poll, 30% of male reads said they would rather watch a big playoff game than have sex. The other 70 said "hey that’s why they have half time."
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You know the two best places to be during an earthquake? Either under a doorway or at Hooters.
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A New York company has made a video game that re-enacts John Kerry's war career. Players pretend they're Kerry, on a swift boat in Vietnam. Wasn't there already some game based on John Kerry's life? Oh, yeah, "Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire?”
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This year there are 50 women on the Forbes richest list, or as John Kerry calls that, his little black book.
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President Bush appeared with Arnold Schwarzenegger at a huge campaign event. Only in California can a governor who speaks German and a president who can barely speak English try to make themselves clear to an audience that's primarily Spanish.
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President Bush spoke with the Amish. He didn't want to, but it was the only group he could find that wasn't upset about the high price of gas.
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