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| David Letterman Quotes |
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US Chat Show Host
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Michael Jackson has introduced his own line of Valentine’s candy. It’s tremendous. It’s white chocolate with a nut inside.
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Scientists are saying that in the future we will be able to have sex with robots. I tried that once. It was horrible. Right in the middle I had to call tech support.
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Isn’t it nice to see a president that puts his hands on a Bible instead of an intern again?
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New York...when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you.
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I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."
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People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine.
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All of New York City is in the holiday spirit. Here’s an example. I ran into a mugger and he let me go as long as I promised to write him a check.
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Does it seem that everyone is in the holiday spirit? It’s amazing. I was taking a walk during my lunch break in Central Park and saw a squirrel putting tinsel on its nuts.
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