I watched Titanic when I got back home from the hospital, and cried. I knew than that my IQ had been damaged.

The trust of the innocent is the liar's most useful tool.

[I work until] beer o’clock.
-- On his 9 to 5 writing day, Time - 6 Oct 86

You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants.
-- fromHearts in Atlantis.

People want to know why I do this, why I write such gross stuff. I like to tell them I have the heart of a small boy -- and I keep it in a jar on my desk.