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| Joke Quotes |
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I've got a very poor sense of direction. I keep forgetting which way is forwards.
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Geoffrey Parfitt |
I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get on with my real ladder.
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Harry Hill |
I ain't saying the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance...she leaned over and pushed me.
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Anonymous |
So one day as a kid I was at the local Zoo. I was bored and kept pestering my Dad to go and play. Eventually he agreed, took me over to the lion enclosure, threw me in and said: "There ya go, play dead..."
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Robert Paul |
The fastest way to make your own Anti-freeze is to hide her nightgown.
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Unknown |
A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, "Did you miss a step?"
"No," he answers, "I hit every one of them!"
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Milton Berle |
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of another boy.
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Woody Allen (Clown Prince of American Humor, 1975) |
I was on a game show. When I lost, they gave me a lovely parting gift. It was a comb.
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Scott Roeben |
I haven't taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.
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Winston Spear |
There's an old saying - There's No Place Like Home. Well, I went in the house next door, and it was very similar.
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Geoffrey Parfitt |
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