|
|
| Joke Quotes |
Pages: 1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10 |
I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early.
--
Jack Benny |
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me.
--
Rodney Dangerfield |
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
--
Emo Philips |
I met this guy who said he loved children, then I found out he was on parole for it.
--
Monica Piper |
Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold the engine?
--
Frank Carson |
What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck.
--
Anonymous |
My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact replicas...I told my roommate and he said 'Do I know you?'
--
Steven Wright |
I had lunch with a chess champion the other day. I knew he was a chess champion because it took him 20 minutes to pass the salt.
--
Eric Sykes |
Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side, a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
--
Carl Zwanzig |
When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.
--
Jack Handey |
|
Email these Joke quotes to a Friend - Click Here
|
