Mark Foley spent most of his career protecting children from Internet stalkers. Turns out he was doing it so he could have them all to himself.
-- Jon Stewart

When I took office, only high energy physicists had ever heard of what is called the world wide web. Now even my cat has its own page.
-- Bill Clinton

The internet is the trailer park for the soul.
-- Marilyn Manson

Thank you for your e-mail. This Internet of yours is a wonderful invention.
-- George W. Bush (email to Al Gore, mocking his famous Internet invention claim, quoted in Newsweek, Mar 2000)

The Internet is a great way to get on the net.
-- Bob Dole

We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.
-- Robert Wilenksy (as spoken at a 1996 conference)