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| W.C. Fields Quotes |
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(1880 - 1946) - American comedian actor.
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When doctors and undertakers meet, they wink at each other.
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I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
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Women are like Elephants. I like to watch them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
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(Mississippi, 1935)
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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
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Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
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A plumber's idea of Cleopatra.
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(on Mae West)
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A man's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink.
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Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.
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After two days in hospital I took a turn for the nurse.
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Twas a woman who drove me to drink. I never had the courtesy to thank her.
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