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| Sam Ewing Quotes |
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(1920 - 2001) - American writer, humorist
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Some of the longest hours of the day follow the question: "Have you got a minute?"
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Housework is something you do that nobody notices unless you haven't done it.
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Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf.
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Your best friends are those who speak well of you behind your back.
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A man commented to his lunch companion: "My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire." "You're lucky," sighed the companion. "My wife dreams that in the daytime."
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As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown up, a credit card does it.
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(Readers Digest, Dec, 1997)
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If you believe the past can't be changed, you haven't read a celebrity's autobiography.
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(quoted in Readers Digest, 1991)
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People who say, 'Anything is possible' have never tried to complain to a recorded announcement.
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(quoted in National Enquirer)
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An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame.
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(Readers Digest, 1992)
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There's no thief like a bad movie.
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(Readers Digest, 2001)
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