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| Phyllis Diller Quotes |
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(b. 1917) - American comedienne.
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My photographs do me an injustice. They look just like me.
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You want to look younger? Rent smaller children.
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The best contraceptive for old people is nudity.
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I admit, I have a tremendous sex drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away.
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Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
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He has so many muscles he has to make an appointment to move his fingers.
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(on Arnold Schwarzenegger)
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Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and three dollar pantyhose that won't run.
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(as quoted in Woman's Almanac, 1977)
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We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
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There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?
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