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| Doctor Quotes |
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 So I went to the Doctor's yesterday. He said, "What appears to be the problem?" I said, "I keep having this dream, night after night, beautiful girls rushing towards me and I keep pushing them away." He said, "How can I help?" I said: "break my arms."
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Tommy Cooper |
My doctor is wonderful. Once, in 1955, when I couldn’t afford an operation, he touched up the X-rays.
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Joey Bishop |
Be suspicious of any doctor who tries to take your temperature with his finger.
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Dave Letterman |
The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.
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Jay Leno |
A wonderful Doctor gave this guy 6 months to live. When he couldn't pay his bills, he gave him another 6 months.
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Henry Youngman (Goodfellas, 1990) |
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
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Erma Bombeck |
My kid is a born doctor. Nobody can read anything he writes.
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Henry Youngman |
Doctors are the same as lawyers; the only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too.
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Anton Chekhov |
I had a rough childhood. When I was born, the doctor advised me of my rights.
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Scott Roeben |
First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.
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Steve Martin |
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