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| George Carlin Quotes |
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(b. 1937) - American comedian, writer, actor.
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I know a transsexual guy who's only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary.
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Fun Stuff: Walk into a gun store, buy three guns and a bunch of ammunition, then ask them if they have any ski masks.
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Masturbation: Shaking hands with the unemployed.
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If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
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What's all this stuff about motivation? I say, if you need motivation, you probably need more than motivation. You probably need chemical intervention or brain surgery. Actually, if you ask me, this country could do with a little less motivation. The people who are causing all the trouble seem highly motivated to me.
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Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.
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I like Florida. Everything is in the 80's. The temperatures, the ages and the IQ's.
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(Brain Droppings, 1997)
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The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.
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(Sometimes a Little Brain Damage Can Help, 1984)
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The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other going in opposite directions.
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(Napalm and Silly Putty, 2001)
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If a man smiles all the time he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
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(Brain Droppings, 1997)
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