Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive?

My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.

There isn't any 'New Man.' The New Man is the old man, only he whines more.
-- (New Yorker, Feb 26 1996)

Men can read maps better than women. Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equalling a hundred miles.

When my Husband comes home, if the kids are still alive, I figure I've done my job.

My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.