Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.

If it isn't the sheriff, it's the finance company: I've got more attachments on me than a vacuum cleaner.

Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.

Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble.

America is the country where you buy a lifetime supply of aspirin for one dollar, and use it up in two weeks.