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| Anonymous Quotes |
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 Honeymoon - the morning after the knot before.
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In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf.
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Kid to his Dad as they watch TV: "Dad, tell me again how when you were my age you had to walk all the way across the room to change a channel."
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Incontinence Hotline...can you hold please!
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I ain't saying the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance...she leaned over and pushed me.
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Theory is when everything is known and nothing works. Practice is when everything works and nobody knows why. At Microsoft, theory and practice are united: nothing works and nobody knows why.
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Never date a woman whose father calls her 'Princess.' Chances are she believes it.
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As confused as a baby in a topless bar.
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Heaven is where the Police are British, the Chefs are French, the Mechanics are German, the Lovers Italian and it's all organised by the Swiss.
Hell is where the Chefs are British, the mechanics are French, the lovers are Swiss, the Police are German and it's all organised by the Italians.
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Hey Santa, how much for your list of naughty girls?
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