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Woody Allen Quotes Pages: 1   2   3
(b. 1935) - American Oscar winning film director, writer, actor.

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Email to a friend   There are worst things than death. If you've ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman, you know exactly what I mean.
-- (Love and death, 1975)
Email to a friend   There's nothing sexier than a lapsed Catholic.
-- (Alice, 1990)
Email to a friend   A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said 'no'.
-- (circa 1965)
Email to a friend   It makes up for the strip search.
-- (on receiving a standing ovation - at the 2002 Oscars)
Email to a friend   I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of another boy.
-- (Clown Prince of American Humor, 1975)
Email to a friend   When the Academy called, I panicked. I thought they might want their Oscars back and the pawn shop has been out of business for awhile.
-- (at the 2002 Oscars)
Email to a friend   In Beverly Hills...they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
Email to a friend   I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
Email to a friend   If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.
Email to a friend   How can I believe in God when only last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
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