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| Woody Allen Quotes |
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(b. 1935) - American Oscar winning film director, writer, actor.
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There are worst things than death. If you've ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman, you know exactly what I mean.
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(Love and death, 1975)
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There's nothing sexier than a lapsed Catholic.
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(Alice, 1990)
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A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said 'no'.
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(circa 1965)
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It makes up for the strip search.
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(on receiving a standing ovation - at the 2002 Oscars)
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I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of another boy.
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(Clown Prince of American Humor, 1975)
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When the Academy called, I panicked. I thought they might want their Oscars back and the pawn shop has been out of business for awhile.
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(at the 2002 Oscars)
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In Beverly Hills...they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.
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I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
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If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.
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How can I believe in God when only last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
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