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| Woody Allen Quotes |
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(b. 1935) - American Oscar winning film director, writer, actor.
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The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers.
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I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.
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I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did. Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child.
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I am an only child. I have one sister.
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What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?
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I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
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Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.
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(Hollywood Ending, 2002)
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I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
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Sex is better than talk...Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex.
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(Hollywood Ending, 2002)
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The last time I was inside a woman was when I was inside the Statue of Liberty.
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(Crimes and Misdemeanors, 1989)
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