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| Fred Allen Quotes |
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(1894 - 1956) - American humorist.
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I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal labotomy.
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A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become well known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
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He dreamed he was eating shredded wheat and woke up to find the matress half gone.
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An actor's success has the life expectancy of a small boy about to look into a gas tank with a lighted match.
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(Jack) Benny's so cheap he wouldn't give you the parsley off his fish.
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California is a nice place to live - if you happen to be an Orange.
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(Dec 1945, American Magazine)
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Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.
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Committee - a group of men who individually can do nothing but as a group decide that nothing can be done.
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